la musica

Listening to music stored years ago in my pc brings some kind of consolation. I suppose it reminds me that some things don’t change. The feelings associated with each track of each album are brought to mind and once more relived. Nostalgia at its simplest form.

I have written other entries while listening to music. Like all other art forms, it has the power to draw from me words I wouldn’t have written normally. Or perhaps I just put importance to these words I write when they don’t mean anything to another person. This is simply an expression of myself, like what I usually do when I am trying to put some perspective in certain things.

If only writing make things better, if only putting to words the feelings make them stronger or go away, if only describing things in writing make them more meaningful… Then life would be a lot simpler and being that a lot more boring, I guess.

So let life be a complex daily struggle of people with different dreams, nightmares, joys and fears. Let life be a manifestation of the miracle that God deemed it to be. Let life be as beautiful as it ought to be, despite the pains and heartaches. Let life be lived to the fullest, no matter how simple or complex it turns out to be.

Going back to the music I’ve come to love all those years make me smile. Now I know that in them I can retrieve some memory, some piece of what I was or who I’ve imagined myself to be. In them I can draw something to write about, things that could be elusive at certain phases in my daily office existence.

untitled still

I used to write a poem or two
Scribbling thoughts and feelings, too
But when a part of me died
I ceased to write and lost some pride.

There is no rhyme in what I’m doing
It is pitiful and crass
I can get no one interested in this ranting
Good thing everything will come to pass.

-written 03.17.09-

adroit

nimble as jack who climbed the beanstalk
glib as the best orator in town
but like a ghost across the room you walk
unmindful of your 'force' face in a frown

who would've thought the dexterous you
can crumble at a single word
amidst a crowd's admiration that's true
my word can cut you like a sword

i leave you spent and restless
you come back for more pain
i have professed to be heartless
your smile tried to hide the tear stain.

shoutout

from me to you
you who hear but wouldn't listen
for to listen is sometimes to heed

from you to me
me who doesn't understand
for to understand is to accept

from us to them
them who ignores but looks on
for to look on is to passively participate

staring at the sun

the impossibility of the idea
if not for the lens shielding the eyes
would blind me

defiance against nature
the will stronger than the body
would render me weak

the glare hurting me
more than i can bear
would soon make me flinch

the warmth envelops my being
the heat a welcome respite
would be gone again

why I love the rain

When I was younger I often ask people what they prefer between a rainy day and a sunny day. Most of them would answer a sunny day, of course. Then I’d say I prefer a rainy day. They’d say the rains make most of them gloomy and limit the activities that they can do. I’d say I still prefer the rains over sunshine. The next question from them is naturally ‘Why?’. Then I’d answer, some of my most wonderful memories are associated with rains.

Of those people I’ve asked, very few of them know that my preference for rains over sunshine dates back to 17 years ago. It started with a special friendship. It was the month of August and the middle of the rainy season. We'd be spending hours (possibly long minutes only) together over an activity or an assignment or anything. We'd find reasons to spend time together. And I may not be able to remember every single time that we had fun under the rain, under the same umbrella or under the shed waiting for we know not, but I will always remember the drizzle or the steady downpour of the rain.

And with them, the memory of time well spent. However short or inconsequential those times might have been. They are time with you, one thing I always like going back to. Something I like doing - reminiscing with the rain.