nothing really

Revelations that are not to one’s liking are not anticipated if not unwelcome. They make one sad or disappointed or resigned. Such is how I feel today (12 May 2010). I learned about something which is actually expected but surprisingly still has that effect on me – palpable sadness.

How does one treat or appease such kind of sadness? I feel my eyes start to water but I contain them, the tears. I did not shed any but my eyes were misting. I couldn’t bring myself to give in to the tears no matter how appealing the idea was. I said not yet then not ever, never for this reason that shouldn’t be a reason in the first place.

You wouldn’t know what hit me. It’s nothing, actually. It’s a natural recourse of things that I didn’t anticipate to come so soon. It’s not sudden either. See? I am vague and I couldn’t make myself clearer, which adds more to the sadness. This might even be pathetic if not amusing. I am going gaga over nothing. For it’s nothing really. It’s just me.