fool

I took a last lingering look at your retreating figure. I thought I'd never seen a more heartbreaking scene. You said goodbye with a sad smile. You said it's time to part ways. It is just delaying the inevitable, you reasoned. We'd say goodbye sooner or later. After all, people come and go in our lives whether we like it or not. It simply is not our choice. We are destined to meet. That we are both certain about, many years before we come to this age. And are equally fated to bid each other adieu. That I am quite sure about.

And so it happened. We parted ways. You said we ought to keep in touch, stay connected, keep the communication lines open. I said why not? After all, friends really ought to keep in touch even if they separate ways. So we did, for a while. We kept calling each other up, asking how things are with our present lives. But the calls and the letters soon lessened. I suppose the process is just undergoing a natural death. We said friendships outlast anything, especially one like ours. We've been friends since grade school years. So it wouldn't be so difficult, would it?

But how can I make it easy when the only person you've decided to love and marry is the same person who is besotted with me? How can I make it easy when despite my efforts to turn his affections to you, he got closer to me instead? I said I couldn't be the person he wanted. We are poles apart. But he persisted and in the process you got hurt. It wasn't easy to see you hurt. It hurt me more being the reason for your sorrow. Yet I can do nothing.

We thought nothing can come between a good friendship. We vowed noone and nothing can ruin our special bond. But it only takes love - your love for him, to slowly break that friendship. I must admit I love him, too. It's not difficult to feel that. He is the sort of guy I've said I'd fall for. He's got that special something only a certain person can feel. We felt it both. But you felt it first. And I've tried to make him see you are what he wanted. Yet the more I said those things, the more intrigued he's become of me.

And I saw how that affected you. So everything that happened brought us to that day. Couldn't we both have him? Rubbish, you said. I thought we could share like everything else we did since childhood. But you wouldn't allow it. Heck, he wouldn't allow it!

After that fateful day, I suppose I can do only one thing. Tell him straight that I couldn't be with him. That I couldn't be the person he wanted to be with. That I'm leaving in a few months and that should be the end of it. Then I'd give him your address. He might then realize it's you he's always wanted. You might then realize I could still give more than you thought. For friendship.